London Lantern

Putting the Spotlight on London

Who'd Want To Be A London Mayor?

29/01/2000, By Richard, 7th Earl of Bradford

Reader Rating: 2.9 from 25136 votes

It may sound like a new song to be set to the familiar tune of ‘Who wants to be a millionaire?’, but in reality it seems to be more like a modern mixture between a contemporary tragedy and a farcical comedy.

The leading Labour candidate in the mayoral race has not been endorsed by his own party, which just happens to be in Government.

Whilst their own preferred nominee, Frank Dobson, otherwise known as ‘Dobbo’, the ex-Minister for Health, has not been backed by the major Trade Union, which supports the Government. Confused, it gets even worse.

The favoured Conservative candidate, the author Jeffrey Archer, dropped out of the race, as yet more skeletons fell dramatically out of his personal cupboard. Whereupon the Conservative selection board failed to re-endorse the number two, Stephen Norris, a man most famed for having five mistresses at the same time. Obviously though, he must the stamina required for the job.

Then, under pressure from the Conservative leadership, they withdrew their objections and agree to re-nominate Stephen Norris.

Another Labour candidate, Glenda Jackson, is the past winner of two Oscars – who said that it was only in America where actors go into politics! Sadly she has completely failed to make any real impact.

Frank Dobson managed to state ‘what a laugh it was that all those toffee-nosed guests’ at the opening of the Millennium Dome had to wait in line for security checks for up to four hours. The main reason for the delay was because the Tube Station had been closed, so that the Prime Minister’s party – including a certain Frank Dobson – could travel to the Dome directly.

Sadly for Dobbo, those ‘toffee-nosed guests’ included the editors of most of the major British papers, and the managing directors of the most popular Television Stations. Guess who they might support now?

Finally, the front runner, Ken Livingstone, is distinguished for running the former Greater London Council (GLC), but doing it so badly and expensively that the Conservative Government actually abolished the GLC as a means of getting rid of him.

He is also renowned for keeping newts and salamanders, a truly fascinating hobby. He remains the most likely winner!!

Any chance that Hilary Clinton might be interested?!!

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